Seattle IKEA is one of those institutions you either love or hate. A stockpiled maze of cheap, modern furnishing with a touch of Scandinavian minimalism it is so infamously complex, legendary sitcom 30 Rock devoted two episodes to the chain’s power to destroy relationships. But that doesn’t have to be the case.
“Obviously, we’re sure you’ve been to IKEA — but have you been to IKEA on weed? Let Have a Heart’s Skyway location fill all of your recreational marijuana needs before you get to those famous meatballs. ”
Obviously, we’re sure you’ve been to IKEA — but have you been to IKEA on weed? Let Have a Heart’s Skyway location fill all of your recreational marijuana needs before you get to those famous meatballs. Of course, there are basically two kind of folks you go to Seattle IKEA with, and we’re outlined them below.
Your ADD Friend Without a Car
Trying to navigate IKEA with an ADD-afflicted friend in tow is probably one of Dante’s circles of Hell. Fortunately, IKEA knows this, so before you go, hook your easily distracted friend up with some Gorilla Glue, then just let them run free — and pray you don’t hear your name over the loudspeaker while you’re shopping. Now’s you chance to much on an Almond Chocolate with Sea Salt candy with a mellow 10 mg of potency from Willie’s Reserve for only $12.
Your Significant Other
As the aforementioned episodes of 30 Rock foretold, how you handle the labyrinth of home goods IKEA offers can be a reflection of how you navigate your relationship, as shown in this scene, an exchange between a couple supposedly shopping for a chair but should probably be on a shrink’s couch:
Man: I’m just not sure that my chair wants to be with this table.
Woman: Why, because deep down your chair would rather be with other chairs?
Man: Wow, I think the table needs to stop listening to its mother.
Woman: Well.. it’s… it’s just the table thinks the chair takes too many camping trips with Richard.
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